Friday, May 11, 2012

Loose Lips

Okay, yesterday I was afraid to talk, to blog, to write. Chatting to another crafty lady today - we discussed that it makes my business real - I am no superwoman!  I had this post on my heart, and I think it's time.  Facebook is a great thing, it lets you keep in touch with people from your past - this is bitter sweet.

We went to a church for a good five years, a long time for this young family of mine.  I am writing this as a means of forgiveness I think, a means for expressing what happens to many of us.  Christians aren't perfect - why do we expect more from them?  I don't think I expect much more, but I take one's word for what they are.  I take words spoken to me as honest and true.  If a friend speaks to me, I take it as truth.  A 'Church' friend, or any friend - church or no church.  Words like "You are the best friends, I can't wait for our children to grow up together".... and so on and so on.  Maybe there is an altered motive of building numbers.

When Mr DCT was studying music I remember vividly a song "Loose Lips Sink Ships" from an ABC movie  Come in Spinner soundtrack.  I think this is something many of us need to be careful of.  I know I am very whimsical, very flighty - I hope my words have not sunk friendships.  Maybe they have?  I'm not sure.

I know I miss many of you, what was, what could have been in friendship.  The thing I find is, it was when we left a church.  It was finished.  Not HIS finished, but the friendship finished.  Makes me realise why so many people dislike churches and the people in them.  When we stopped going to church for family reasons, we did not stop being your friend.  My heart has grieved.  My heart believed your words.  My heart had to look after my special needs children.  How blessed you are to not have that pain.  Maybe you have a different pain?

My thoughts, yep, I'm real.  Not sure that is a great thing for a blog.  But it is what it is and I needed to write it.

I had a beautiful moss collecting stroll at a new friends home - a lady I admire.  She is what I would be if there were terms to trade yourself - you know what I mean.  We discussed this same thing - leaving a church does not mean leaving a friendship.  There is no fine line, and I get why people find Christians to be hypocrites, often they are!  They are human and it still hurts, but I have to forgive.  No-one is perfect, this happens to many.  Just wanted to write and share.

Rach xx


  1. Luv this Rach,
    I was chatting to a friend the other day about how our particular friendship has gone from strength to strength since we moved 4 hours away! This has happened with many of my friends since we moved.
    True friendship of course goes through changes, as does life, but shouldn't end.
    Unfortunately I too have had friends just fade away for unknown or invalid reasons and others have had to end for valid and distressing reasons.
    I have grieved deeply over the years for these losses.
    I try now to choose carefully who I open my heart to, and to hold my friends closely.
    My beautiful friend.... You are beautiful just as you are.. Precious and a gift from God to whomevers life you are a part of, you bless so many.
    I can tell you that you bless me... Love you honey xxxxLeese

    1. Honey, you are one of those people where you pick up where you left off xxx Love you too xx

  2. Thanks for sharing Rach, i understand what you are saying i have left my 'old church' of which i attended for 5 years and were (my hubby and i) are now attending a new church. in which we have made new friends but i miss my friends at my 'old church' i miss seeing their children grow i miss my girls that i used to teach every tuesday, i miss the families i used to go to for help and advice on certain things. its very hard to keep long distance friendships but the ones that God wants in your life you will find that it just works out and your able to just pick up where you left xxoo

    1. We are indeed blessed to pick up with those friends! xx

  3. I was only thinking about blogs and the 'true' writer today. Not many bloggers are honest. It all seems to perfect. Thank you for your honesty!!!xo

    I don't think that God ever designed Church to be the hub for friendships but for learning and worshiping Him. Don't get me wrong relationships is a big part of that but it's got to be more than that.
    Why did you lose so many 'friendships', because Church was your common ground. The friendships that have extended beyond it were deep and strong.
    Having moved away, I very quickly learnt who I had 'common ground' friendships with and those that are strong. It is hard! At time extremely lonely!
    I really like your line 'I try now to choose carefully who I open my heart to, and to hold my friends closely.'
    Much love and support as you write and share from your heart. I really admire it!

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. I have been praying and thinking about this response overnight. I wonder if the common ground you describe is that some view the Church building as the Church. The body of Christ, HIS Church as I see it is for a community of worshipers that is not bound by walls or a building - but for the love of Christ, for truth and integrity. I think some mistake the walls of a building for the boundaries of Christs love. xx

  5. An interesting blog, and I think its wonderful that you share the real stuff too :)

    to me, the church in your post also signifies the states of life people are in.

    My experience is that friends tend to take you for granted more because they are now in a different state (church) - where since now they are married and with kids (or whatever their more busy & important life state may be), they assume that since u r not in the same state, u r free, available and should be the one making the effort/doing the work in the friendship... I agree that you have to do what is best for you/your life/ your family, and friends have to respect and love you in that context.

    I have now (unfortunately) reached a space where I don't want to be the only one being the 'friend' - If it isn't a 2 way street, then i can move on too... maybe i will meet more people, maybe i wont, but atleast the people in my life will care about me - whether we talk everyday, or once a year!
    even on FB if you see, the friend circle is more of a no. - how many people keep in touch? or respond to your mails, or generally keep up to date?
    This is why i like blogs too, u can stay connected, share your thoughts, feelings and opinions :) and be more 'there'...a blog, email and call... can all be the same in terms of sharing!

    1. I agree, I think you can give only so much in any relationship - if it is not reciprocated after so much investment - it is obviously not that 'common ground' one posted about earlier. xxx Thanks for your comment xxx Rach



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